Pronounced "This Life's Tough"
You see I’m finding out the difference between this heartbreak and others I’ve been through before. This one is different. It’s long, it’s exhausting, it’s depressing, it’s taking all of my hope, it’s unbearable.
Sure, there are moments when I begin to feel okay again, I even genuinely laugh at some sarcastic remark, my smile even almost seems real for those few minutes or hours of the day. I can actually think of anything but you for that period of time.
But then the smallest thing reminds me of you, whether it be a song, a scent or a place we often went to. It makes my heart sink when employees at such places ask about you, and once again I have to explain, you’re no longer mine.
This broken heart is different because we, we are unfinished business, we were the perfect two, we were madly in love, like we’ve never been with anyone else. A few mistakes along the road and we lost ourselves, we let go of each other, the more hurt we felt the more distance we created between our hearts.
I know I’ll run into you soon, it’s inevitable, especially in a town like ours. We’ll pretend we’ve never met. You’ll whisper some negative comment into your current interest’s ear and I’ll act like I didn’t notice, but I will because I know YOU, I know your body language, your reactions. I won’t get to hear your voice, or even see your smile. I’ll keep walking away pretending that I’m okay, that I don’t miss you nor think of you every single day.
I’ll hope for a few hours of legit optimism to come again soon, till then I’ll keep feeling this emptiness, never ending emptiness.
Insomnia has hit me hard, I have 30 different ideas for choreo running though my mind right now, but I can’t do a damn thing. Ahh the confusion.
I’m doped out of my mind, but I’ll finally get to sleep tonight.